I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.3. Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says “I think we got this joke wrong”4. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.5. What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.6. I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said “Thanks” I said “Don’t mention it”7. I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.8. I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.9. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.10. My friend says to me: “What rhymes with orange” I said: “no it doesn’t”11. And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster.12. How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb? Is it one or two? One ... or two?13. What do. Okay, so she’d been doing better on the circuit during the past 18 months, reaching the finals of a couple of smaller tournaments and getting through to the second round at Wimbledon, but she hadn’t played much doubles during this time. “But I thought you wanted me to concentrate on my singles?” she said. Her coach nodded. “And you’ve been doing well, and you can get even better, believe me. But think of it. The chance to play alongside Dean Bradley. Your styles aren’t that different, and you can learn a hell of a lot from him. Look, his team and me have talked a lot about this: I know, I’m sorry I haven’t mentioned it before, but I needed to make sure they were serious. But they are.” Jennifer sat back and took a swig of water, trying to get her head round the bombshell that her coach had just dropped. He looked at her. “You’re not going to say no, are you?” he said, sounding worried for a moment. Jennifer smiled. “No, of course not, I just can’t quite believe it,” she admitted. “Do.
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